


Disoriented Mind

by YukariKen



Series: YukariKen's DreamSMP oneshots [1]
Category: DSMP - Fandom, DreamSMP, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Author is a Clay | Dream Apologist (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Gen, Hurt Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Isolation, Mr.wastaken is going insane from the lonliness lmao, Pandora's Box, Prisoner Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), SMP!Dream is an asshole but he's also very interesting, Sad Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Tags May Change, anyway how tf do these tags work im so confused, author has no idea how to make a good story lmao, i swear my tags will gradually get better, no beta we die like Wilbur on the 16th of November, not surprised, so much potential angst, these tags suck lmao, this is my first story on ao3 and its about Dream, well mild angst but like
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 11:41:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29349873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YukariKen/pseuds/YukariKen
Summary: He hid behind so many layers that he can’t seem to remember what his true feelings are. Is this what he truly is? Was he destined to be a bad person who will forever be alone?Maybe he was a kind person, once. Maybe if you removed all of the layers he set up himself, maybe he still had a heart, maybe he still cares for them.It’s confusing, what does he really want? What were his original motives?It scared him that he can’t figure out an answer.orDream has been in Pandora's Vault for months now, and the lack of visitors left him alone with only his thoughts to accompany him.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Darryl Noveschosch, Clay | Dream & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: YukariKen's DreamSMP oneshots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2178597
Comments: 4
Kudos: 194





	Disoriented Mind

**Author's Note:**

> There's violence mentioned here but it's not really detailed, but you can never be too sure. 
> 
> So uh, watch out for that. 
> 
> In this story, Dream will be a bit of an asshole, sorry soft!Dream fans :P
> 
> I've seen fanfictions where the prison reduces him into a traumatized and really scared person, which I don't really mind!, but I wanted to try something different. c!Dream has always been a complicated and closed off character, so I portrayed him as someone who wants power and chaos, someone who dislikes being weak, while giving him some humanity as well. 
> 
> I don't know if that makes sense but oh well 
> 
> Anyway, enough rambling, hope you enjoy :)

It's been a while since Dream was stuck in this prison, this suffocating black box he now called his 'home'. It was silent, save for the soft bubbling of the lava, the ticking of the clock, and his soft breathing that reminded him that he was still alive.

It's been a while since someone visited him. Tommy had frequently visited him just to taunt him of his current situation, or just make a few small talks, which rarely happened. However, Tommy's visits gradually lessened, and eventually, it came to a stop. As much as he disliked the boy, his visits at least gave him some form of human interaction. 

Badboyhalo also visited, although not as much as Tommy. His visits were the ones he enjoyed the most. Bad would do most of the talking while Dream just listened, the kindness in his voice immediately calming him down, making him feel happy. Although he always felt like something was off with the black demon, but he just shrugged it off. Bad is a strong person despite his kind aura, he’ll be fine on his own.

Yet just like Tommy, Bad just stopped visiting one day, leaving Dream alone once again. 

At least he still has Sam, but he knows it won't last long. He knows that the creeper hybrid despises him, he could see it whenever they interact with each other. No longer did he hear any type of sympathy in his voice, all of that warmth replaced by painfully cold apathy. He also knows what caused the sudden change. 

He came to understand why no one was eager to come see him. He had hurt almost everyone on this server after all. 

Yet he couldn't help but feel hurt.

He couldn’t help but feel anger. 

________________________________

He's bored. 

H̶e̶'̶s̶ ̶l̶o̶n̶e̶l̶y̶.

There's nothing to do in this cell except to drown in your thoughts, guilt, and fear.

Well, there are also the books that Sam kindly donated. He just writes down what he feels on it though, and a few doodles if he’s really bored. He keeps a track of the days he spends in this cell of his. He has no idea if it’s accurate as he depends on his sleep schedule to differentiate the days from each other. Knowing himself, his sleep schedule is unpredictable since he sleeps whenever his body lets him. Which isn't often, he admits to no one in particular. 

He hates staying in one place, it makes him fidgety. He loves travelling and running around while the warmth of the sun engulfs his body. However, he’s forced to stay here, the black void that is obsidian and the uncomfortable warmth of the lava are the only things he can feel, and see. As well as the cold and painful floor and walls this prison provided. They didn’t even give him a bed or anything to sleep in, which wouldn’t be used much anyway but he wished he still had one, it would be so much better than what he’s laying on right now. 

He wonders what’s happening outside. Is everyone starting to heal and fix broken relationships? Are they happier now? Did all of their problems magically disappear when they threw him inside this hellhole? Did the people who betrayed him move on?

He could feel something bubbling within him. It felt like the lava that builds a wall between him and freedom. It feels similar to the walls he set up to separate himself from any attachments. 

He grits his teeth, and turns to punch the obsidian wall, quickly retracting it after feeling immense pain. He cradled his hurt hand and glared at the blood-stained area where he punched it, acting as if the blocks would cower under his glare and give way to freedom. 

He shouldn’t be in here, stripped from the power that he worked so hard to gain, while the rest were outside moving on without him. He’s not the only one who committed crimes, so why was he the only one being punished? 

What about the others, who did just as many bad things that he’s done? Why do they all get to go free and live happily, while he suffers?

Dream’s vision starts to get foggy, as a mixture of different emotions crash against each other. 

It’s not fair. 

It’s not fair. 

He’s supposed to be in control. 

He’s supposed to be the one who pulls the strings.

They should follow all of his commands. 

He should be the puppeteer, not the puppet itself. 

He’s supposed to be the one with power, the one who controls every event and little thing happening in this SMP. 

He hates not being in control. 

He hates not knowing the future. 

He hates being weak. 

Why can’t they just follow what he wants them to do? 

Why can’t they just stay in their assigned roles? 

Without him, they’re nobodies. 

He was the one who brought them into this place, he can kick them out if he wanted.

Dream breathed heavily, his vision finally becoming clear as he stared at the damage he’s done to his cell, slumping onto the floor. The chest that held his books was toppled over, its contents scattered around the box. The lectern was on the opposite wall from where it used to be, the item a bit splintered and bloody, as if someone had banged their hands on it until it bled. The cauldron was half empty now, the water that escaped from it quickly disappearing from the heat of the lava. The clock was lopsided, yet it was still functioning well. The walls were full of blood-stains, small cracks appearing from beneath the newly dried blood. 

His hands were quite damaged from that. Dream knew he'd regret it later on, but it doesn’t hurt yet, so he didn’t care much about it. 

He sighed, that little tantrum helped him calm down just a bit, at least. He pulled his legs towards his chest and hugged it tightly, resting his head on the top of his knees. He looked at the bright lava in front of him, the warmth radiating off of it made it look like it was mocking him. Constantly reminding him of the warmth of his friends, the same warmth that betrayed him in the blink of an eye. 

Dream had many thoughts dancing in his messed up mind. Most of them were clashing against each other, but he had learned to separate them from each other. 

The first one he figured out was very easy, since he can’t help but agree to it. He categorized those thoughts into one word, Power. Those thoughts always yearned for more power, absolute control. It’s the one who constantly reminds him that he is the Admin of this server, he is the one who controls everyone. It tells him to give up all of his attachments, all his weaknesses, so that no one else can take his hard earned power from his bloody hands. Whenever the situation is at his disadvantage, or when he isn’t in control, Power gets angry and aggressively tells him to manipulate this situation to benefit you. Remember, you have power, they don’t. 

As messed up as it is, Dream can’t find it in himself to disagree. After all, he loved being in control. He loves knowing how everything will play out, and the relief that he doesn’t have to worry about something unexpected happening. 

There’s another set of thoughts that works with Power though, he called it ‘Chaos’. It’s pretty clear what kind of thoughts Chaos owns. 

It loves the thrill of chaos and disorder. It adored the wars and the fighting, adrenaline filling Dream’s body every time those thoughts take control of his mind. It especially loved the 2 times L’manberg blew up, acting as if it were the most wonderful thing to have ever happened to them. Dream relished the satisfaction that it brings with it, especially when it wasn’t unexpected, that he knew that would happen and that it was still in his area of control. 

He knows that he’s a bad person, he just doesn’t have the motivation to do anything about it. All of the relationships that he’s been building for years are already broken beyond repair, so why should he put in the effort when it’ll be useless anyway? 

However, there were two other sets of thoughts that would contradict Power and Chaos whenever Dream thought of them. He called those thoughts Logic and Empathy. 

Logic and Empathy worked together to combat any words that Power and Chaos would bring up. Logic would remind Dream that this was wrong, and instead of gaining power he just ends up losing more of it. Other than that, it serves as a survival instinct that keeps him alive, which he appreciated at least. 

Empathy would give him sweet memories of him and his beloved friends bonding with each other, and warns him that if he continues to go through this path, he’ll end up losing them forever. It warns him that he will never feel that comforting warmth ever again. It also helped him stay positive, a small flame of hope hasn't been extinguished yet. 

Dream hated those thoughts. To him, it was his weakness, it was something that will bring him down. He hated those thoughts even more because they were right. However, Dream is messed up already, tangled in his own strings, the kind and prideful man already too far, replaced by the thoughts that yearn for chaos and power. Dream knows he can’t help himself anymore, he needs someone else to pull him from the darkness that he had fallen into. 

That’s where the last one comes in, he called it ‘Clay’. It lingers in his mind no matter what he thinks about. Whenever the 4 other thoughts would quiet down, it would emerge from the silence. He recognized it as the last shred of humanity left in him. It would hit him with the painful reality that he brought forth to himself. It made him aware of the actions he did to hurt himself and the people around him. 

You have to finish what you have started. 

Karma waits for no one. 

Dream wonders if he had finally lost it. He knows Techno talks to himself too, but those were actual voices, Techno dubbed them as ‘Chat’, that plagued the hybrid. However, Dream doesn’t have voices in his head, those are merely his own thoughts. Yet he acts like those thoughts were people, which made him concerned for his mental health. 

Honestly, he wonders why they didn’t just kill him. He remembers the rage he felt after getting dumped in here, but now that feeling just suddenly numbed down to hurt, and betrayal. 

Death seems so much better than being stuck in here forever, with no human interaction whatsoever. He thinks that if he were to be angrier, this would’ve just made him want to get revenge, if their goal was to shape him into a better person.  
He shook his head. Don’t be so ungrateful Dream, you’re still alive, and that’s all that really matters. 

You’re not weak. 

You’ll find a way out of this. 

You always do. 

One day, Dream will get out of this place soon. He doesn’t know why he wants to, no one is really waiting for him outside. He also doesn’t know what he will do once he escapes. 

He hid behind so many layers that he can’t seem to remember what his true feelings are. Is this what he truly is? Was he destined to be a bad person who will forever be alone? 

Maybe he was a kind person, once. Maybe if you removed all of the layers he set up himself, maybe he still had a heart, maybe he still cares for them. 

It’s confusing, what does he really want? What were his original motives? 

It scared him that he can’t figure out an answer. 

...

At least, he finally has a motive. 

At least something exciting will finally happen. 

…

Some sleep would be nice right about now.

**Author's Note:**

> 2020 words, nice.
> 
> Sorry if the story gets side-tracked and the overall theme of the story wasn't explained well, I don't have much experience when it comes to story writing, oops. Also first time posting on Ao3 lmao 
> 
> Also, please don't send this to the Content Creators, I will die from embarrassment. 
> 
> But like, if they found out on their own, I won't really mind lol
> 
> Anyway, feel free to comment your critiques and thoughts of the story! It would be interesting to see what you got from this small one-shot my brain conjured up :)


End file.
